Betty on a Box

So who’da thought it about sunny Sunshine?

There I was on Saturday night, weeding the front yard, watering the newly planted flora and all when I hear this “whhoooo whoooop whoo whoop”. No, not an owl on acid, but a hotted up car with craaazy wheels doing a zip zip zip up the hill, and within seconds, a cop car with its siren a-blazing. “Sheesh,” I thought, “there goes the neighbourhood”. And I yelled out to the puppies to run inside quickly because I really wouldn’t like to live with the irony that the dogs never got injured when we lived on a busy road only to get run over on the quietest street in our ‘burb. Anyway, so then there’s this bang. The kind of band when steel (or fibreglass) hits something solid. J’Red comes running out of the house next door going “what was that? Was there a smash?” And I duly told him of the whhoooo whoooop whoo whoop and the cop car and yelling at the dogs to get inside, while still yelling at the dogs to get inside and watering the newly planted flora.

So, being the ever-vigilant copper that he is, J’Red gets into his car and races off in search of mystery and histrionics. I go back to watering, because the plants couldn’t care less about the mayhem and I wants my flowers to live!

But then, holy crap, I see a guy running off a few meters away from our driveway, followed by JJ holding a pair of serving tongs. He’s yelling out at the guy, “that’s him!” I say, “no, that’s a cop, he’s got a CB!” JJ says, “no it’s not, that’s him!” I say, “no, it’s a cop, he’s got a CB!” And then JJ goes running after the guy, wielding his tongs (they were really longs ones), yells at T’Red to call J’Red, and runs off around the corner. Meanwhile the street’s a-buzz with activity. Naturally, I tell everyone to “go inside! Go inside!”.

And I go back to watering the flora.

A few minutes later, JJ returns, tongs raised, and says, “that was the guy the cops were chasing in the car.” And I say, “no it wasn’t, it was a cop, he had a CB.” And JJ says, ‘oh yeah, check out the side fence.” And I head down the driveway and see this:

It seems I may have been wrong about the guy being a cop. But he did have a CB.

And the breathalisers? Well I found a few in the driveway after the real cops left.